Have you ever felt so useless? Like you weren’t the friend you were supposed to be at that time? Being that person who would take that indirect responsibility standing out from the rest, speak your mind, and tell them off because it’s the damn right thing to do? But somehow you just didn’t.
Hearing that person scream in irritation silently, as though calling for help but no one ever hears it except for you, that silent voice among that crowd of monsters.
In my case, I don’t know if it’s just a minor problem cause every time it happens, it just last for only minutes or even seconds. A problem so minor, maybe it’s not worth a person’s words of protection, bringing up or making a fuss upon. An issue really, maybe not a real problem yet… an issue that’s always jogging the line between “it’s still ok” and “that’s enough!”. But their accumulative amount of events over the times of always being “on the border” and also crossing those line is killing me, and after that day… I swear if I would have just stayed a little longer, I’d burst out, especially to that annoying kid.
But maybe I’m just too demure to speak my mind because they’re “part of us”. Us maybe, but definitely not me. It’s more to him alone come to think of it, but you all seem close and it gets me thinking maybe this issue is really too small and that I’m just worrying too much about this small and insignificant thing. But then again, it’s also about respect isn’t it? Please don’t say you call them friends.
What kills me the most is I’m pissed, pissed at their sickening words and acts of disrespect, pissed at me for not voicing out at those times and pissed at you because you don’t stand up for yourself!
They'll probably associate me with the guy who spoils the mood if that faithful time ever comes, but I’m going with my gut feeling the next time. Worth it or not, I’m voicing out.
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